Dino Merlin - Love in Rewind

So another Eurovision rolled round and this was one of those years which involved a gaggle of us shouting at the TV while drinking and much fun was had by all.

The majority of songs are sung in English and I'm sure its a source of much frustration to other countries but it does throw up some interesting uses of the language. Some are quite cringe worthy, like a couple of years ago when a Russian trio of girls sang about their asses being spun round, while others can be really thought provoking.

The one that got the grey matter cogitating this time was Bosnia and Herzegovina's entry by Dino Merlin called 'Love in Rewind'.

The chorus is about if the singer should die today, what would he leave behind. Now there are all sorts of objects, legacies, ideas and descendants that could be left behind but for the singer it will just be a couple of songs and whoever he is speaking to's 'love in rewind'. Now I find that a really beautiful idea, as if their entire relationship has been building up this moment and now it will unravel backwards - reliving each embrace, tryst and whispered word until they are nothing more but strangers again passing each other in a crowd.

Now I don't think it is an especially good song (my vote would have been for the cheesiness of Sweden's 'Popular' or the sheer sillyness of the gnomes of Moldova!) but it is catchy enough.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sQsrGBDUtM8

Love You to Death by Type O Negative

Yesterday I discovered that Peter Steele, the vocalist and bassist for Type O Negative, had been confirmed as dead from Heart Failure. Normally when famous people die I'm not that affected by the whole thing but this case is an exception. I have linked Type O Negative to so many things in my life...

First getting into them at secondary school. Unable to sleep as per usual so I would be listening to October Rust all the way through to Haunted at night. Each day wandering down to school mumbling along to 'We Hate Everyone' and meaning it most of the time.

'My Girlfriend's Girlfriend' makes me think of my second year of Uni as Secretary of the Rocksoc. I'd got in touch with Corp and managed to book the main room for our own club night on Halloween. We the committee did fucking well that night, bringing in 500 people. I played MGG in the middle of my DJ set and although it was clear a number of people didn't know it, it was completely worth it for each face in the audience which immediately went 'HELL YES!' as soon as the intro drum beat kicked in.

Those little touches about Type O which made them all the more awesome, like releasing a 'least worst of' rather than a 'best of'. Reminding me you can still get far despite disliking yourself.

Twice I saw them play at the London Astoria, one of my favourite venues and a key part of my adolescence which has now been torn down.

The moments they kick into pure heavy metal with a wicked sense of humour, the 'Slow, Deep and Hard' album is worth it just for the song 'Unsuccessfully Coping With the Natural Beauty of Infidelity'. Steve and I heard it for the first time at the first Type O show I went to and for weeks afterwards we were bellowing, "SLUT, WHORE" in Steele's accent.

My excitement about the first new album they released since I got into them, 'Life is Killing Me'. When they released 'The Dream is Dead' as a promo I had that on repeat for hours.

'Die With Me' was mine and Krysia's song and always will be. The number of couples that must have their own Type O song. The number of people who must have used Steele's beautiful voice and at times erotic bass lines to romance their love interest. Seriously we all owe a massive debt.

'Wolf Moon' recently developed a new link in my mind...

Then there is 'Black No.1'. I have yet to meet anyone that did not find this song truly epic and the only song I properly learnt in my brief period trying to be a bassist.

The fact that he's gone doesn't inspire a fear of mortality but feels like some sort of attack on my life. Something that has clearly been a key part of it and helped shaped what I've become, as base and ineffectual as it is, is now gone. 'Attack' is definitely the right word.

So let's return to this blogs normal transmission

Love You to Death and the song if you haven't heard it

Made me laugh that as I found that youtube video the top comment said 'The Ultimate love song', now I'm sure that's a massive argument waiting to happen but this is a definite contender for the title.

The music itself is incredibly seductive, definitely the sort of song you would want to fill the background of a date or other romantic encounter.

The way he sings the lines like Her hips move and I can hear what they're saying, swaying always leaves me thinking of those moments where you are with your lover, so close that you can feel their breath, sense the minute movements of their body, that shiver of anticipation for what is to come running through you both... the beast inside of me is gonna get ya, get ya, yeah...

Then there is the line I am your servant, may I light your cigarette which I find such an incredibly romantic and evocative image. The thought of a gentleman leaning toward the girl, sinking into her personal space and yet the only thing connecting them being the flame from the lighter, a flame that perhaps burns in both of them. Strange that the only person I've been out with who smoked was Anne-Marie and yet this line never came to mind at the time.

The lyrics finish with that trademark Type O self-loathing, am I good enough, for you? A feeling that I have shared with them for a long time. I imagine I'm not as bad these days but that sense of contempt will always be there. I'm often frustrated that there isn't a better word for it, something distinct and ugly.

R.I.P. Peter Steele, hope you really are 'Free at Last'.

Astronaut: A Short History of Nearly Nothing by Amanda Palmer

http://whokilledamandapalmer.com/song.php?track=1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1O6GqCwjh-k

I know that Amanda Palmer put out a companion to her album. So I am sure if we paid the pennies we could grab her explanation of the song and see some witty asides from Neil Gaiman. However you are reading my blog, so you will be getting my thoughts upon it for free!

The song starts by posing a question. Taking the voice of the Astonaut's lover, Amanda asks if it is enough to have some love? Then declares that she is still not getting what she wants as if it's an answer. No, it is not enough. However the entirety of the song is about how missing the astronaut has become their existence, how they are prepared to live their their life as an afterthought. They may not be getting want they want, they may not be happy now but there was time so perfect that it justifies the wait. Surely that kind of love, no matter how small, is enough?

The line that sticks out the most for me is "I want to touch the back of your right arm". I imagine there is a specific story behind why she wants to touch them there but for me it captures a key aspect of relationships; the little things. Those mannerisms which your learn over time and can't help but find cute, being able to tell what is on their mind or maybe just a certain smile. That simply being able to touch their arm or embrace them can be enough.

The final verse, where Amanda's voice becomes barely audible, she proposes that the lover left behind is left exploring as deep and dark a void as the astronaut. I think the metaphor is clear enough.

Right now for me though, it raises the question of how a life should be lived. The astronaut had career and ambition, which we accept and applaud and yet we deem the lover who stayed at home an afterthought. They both found themselves alone in the emptiness, is it really justified to differentiate them?

I had been on a path to being my own form of astronaut in my chosen industry. It has left its mark, the nodes of my neural network have strengthened so that the business words roll more easily off my tongue and the ideas and values lurk in my consciousness (There is a bit for £@#%ing me L.E.B.). If I were to truly succeed, I would have had to commit myself completely to the company. Now my development along that trajectory is at a standstill I wonder, am I still heading to that void? Am I in one now?

I wish you could remind me who I was / because every day I'm a little further off

Pig Destroyer - One Funeral Too Many

All star-crossed and starry eyed innocence pulled away by maturity's tide,
loneliness as the void into which all this warped obsession is cast,
shyness as the dam denying the river its ultimate purpose,
deafened by all the silent laughter under the whispered promises,
which rusted down to jagged lies anyway,
stab me again my sweet little murderer.

Whatever you may may think of grindcore and Pig Destroyer, JR Hayes is a damned poet and if I become anywhere near as good a lyricist as him I will be a very happy man.

Leading from the Shakespeare, quote he deftly leads us through a maelstrom of emotions in such dazzling, succint lines. Each metaphor so provocative, my favourite being shyness as a dam. How many romances never unfurled their petals because neither party had to courage to utter three words to the other? The thought of jagged lies hanging in the pregnant pauses between couples, like minature swords of Damocles threatening to destroy everything, is so stark and beautiful.

The final line is not just some visceral hook, its the admission that as much pain as it causes him he would do it again.

If you did not listen out then all of this would be lost in the song that is not even a minute and desperately needs better recording and production. It is certainly an arguement for why Hayes should include more spoken word in PxDx or do seperate readings. However it wouldn't capture the violence of the emotions. some things need to stream out in a fit of rage. It's what they are.

Some things are meant to last 3 years and 3 months, others 54 seconds.